Aimee Fuhrman

It’s been a full year of examining prayer, namely why we don’t pray and what hinders us. But the last couple of months we’ve turned a page, stepping into an increased life of prayer. We’ve looked at how we have to come to God just as we are–messy. We’ve looked at the Father-heart of God and talked about coming to Him like children. And last month we looked at how Jesus prayed: regularly, intentionally, and simply. This month I’d like to look at two qualities which need cultivating in our lives before prayer can spring forth naturally–hope and gratitude.

I’ve been taking a class this semester on understanding and walking in the gifts of the Holy Spirit (even the ones we’re often wary of). The semester is coming to an end, and last night during class time my small group leader asked us if there was anything we’d been asking God to develop in us that we wanted to be held accountable to. I told the group that for some time now I’ve felt God leading me toward more ministry in healing and deliverance. Though I’ve had some opportunities to pray for healing for people this semester, I haven’t always been bold in my asking. Having ongoing health issues for the past twenty-four years has eroded my faith a bit in God as our Healer.

Not that I don’t believe God heals. I absolutely believe He does! I just haven’t seen that healing in my own body–despite praying for it and having others pray for me. It’s been discouraging. And even as God calls me to do more praying for people for their healing, I hear a niggly voice in the back of my head saying, “What if it doesn’t happen?” It breeds a low-grade fear and doubt in my mind, hindering my prayers. So imagine the irony I felt today when I opened up A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller (the book on which I’ve been basing these letters) and read this: “Cynicism kills hope. . . .Prayer feels pointless. . . .Why set ourselves and God up for failure?”

There it was, staring me in the face–my greatest challenge to praying boldly. Maybe it’s your greatest challenge too.

But Miller goes on to say, “. . .Jesus brings hope before he heals. He is not a healing machine–he touches people’s hearts, healing their souls before he heals their bodies.”

What a kind and gentle Savior we have. He knows we can’t walk in the full and abundant life He’s purchased for us until we truly believe in who He is and what He’s done for us. He knows we’ll never ask for things we don’t believe we’ll get.

BUT HOPE. . .

When we know something is possible, and when we know God’s heart is good–that He desires to give us good things–hope springs up in our hearts; we dare to ask.

James 4:2 (ESV) says, “You do not have because you do not ask.” And Ephesians 3:11b-12 (ESV) tells us that God’s eternal purposes are “realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access [to God] with confidence through our faith in Him.” Brothers and sisters, we can ask boldly because we have hope!

“But what if I don’t have hope?” you might ask. “What then?”

Cultivate it! Much like cultivating the soil in a garden causes the seeds planted to grow in abundance, so too it is possible to cultivate hope in our hearts so that it grows and flourishes.

There are three ways I know to cultivate this kind of hope:

1. Read stories of God’s faithfulness and intervention. These could be from God’s Word, or they could be testimonies of people God has helped and rescued throughout history. Either way, reading about God’s goodness in the lives of others grows hope in our hearts that He will do the same for us.
2. Worship. It’s hard to not hope in God when your focus is on His greatness, His faithfulness, His lovingkindness, His mercy and grace, and His love. Put on some worship music and let your spirit go! It may take awhile, but I’ll venture to guess your mind will follow by and by.
3. Start small. Pray in measure with the faith you do have. And don’t forget to keep track of how God answers those prayers! There’s nothing like answered prayer to cultivate hope and faith. As your faith grows, so will your boldness and your confidence to ask greater things for the Kingdom and the glory of God.

Which brings me to my next quality–gratitude. Philippians 4:6 (NIV) says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Thankfulness changes our perception. It changes our posture. It changes how we ask and what we expect in return. It takes the focus off of the need and puts it onto the God who has been there all along, meeting us, comforting us, and providing for our needs, sometimes in ways we didn’t expect, but always in love and kindness.

Sisters and brothers, we serve a good God. He is worthy of our thanks and praise.

As you step into praying bold prayers, remember to cultivate a heart of gratitude–look up and be thankful for the God who sees and the Shepherd who leads even in the valley of the shadow of death.

Pray with me:
God, I haven’t always asked boldly. But I want to. Holy Spirit, heal my heart so that I hope again. Jesus, thank You for all You’ve done for me, all You purchased for me on the cross. Father, thank You for faithfully providing for me in ways I may not even be aware of. Help me to fix my eyes on You, not on my problems, bringing every concern before your throne. Teach me to pray with thankfulness and boldness as I hope in You.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Over the last several months we have looked at all the things which stymie our prayer life…  things like doubt, cynicism, insincerity, insecurity, and busyness. We’ve talked about our need to let go of our assumptions about prayer and to come messy, like children. And we’ve discussed how prayer is based on a relationship with our heavenly Father. (If you missed those past articles, you can find them on the prayer page of the Summitview website here.) This month we’re going to dive into how our relationship with the Father leads to honest and genuine prayer.

Now because you are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts to cry out, “Abba! Father!”

Galatians 4:6 (ISV)

In his book A Praying Life, Paul E. Miller points out how distinctive this idea of crying out to the Father is to Jesus, as seen in His prayers recorded for us in Scripture (Miller, Paul E. A Praying Life, p. 53.):

• Father is the first word of the Lord’s Prayer, though in English it reads,“Our Father in Heaven…” (Luke 11:2)
• “Abba” (the Hebrew word for Daddy) is the first word uttered by Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane: “Abba, Father, everything is possible for You.” (Mark 14:36)
• It is His first prayer on the cross: “Father, forgive them…” (Luke 23:34) 
• And His last: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” (Luke 23:46).
• It is even the first word from the mouth of the repentant son in the parable of the Prodigal Son–“Father, I have sinned against you…” (Luke 15:21)–Jesus’ model for us of the fatherly love God has for us, even when we have sinned. 

Until Jesus came on the scene, the idea of addressing God as Father (though the concept of God as Father does appear in the Old Testament; Deuteronomy 32:6; Psalms 68:5, 103:13; Proverbs 14:26; Isaiah 63:16, 64:8; Malachi 2:10) was unthinkable. God was holy and awesome, not someone to be approached in such an intimate and familiar way as “Abba.”  But Jesus did know God in this intimate fashion and had no inhibitions of addressing God in this way. Not without reverence–the first line of the Lord’s prayer still acknowledges God’s holiness–but without a barrier. He modeled this kind of intimate relationship with the Father, and then He removed every barrier that did exist between God and humanity on the cross. We now have free access to God… a loving Father who cares deeply about our needs and desires, who wants the very best for His children, and who has made a way–His very Spirit within our spirit interceding for us. The reality is we can cry out to God because the Spirit within us is crying out to God. Whenever we are in need, help is as close as a one breath prayer–Abba… Father… Daddy.

Prayer at its very essence is helpless dependence on our Father (Miller, Paul E. A Praying Life, p. 42.). We cannot do it… but He can. Jesus modeled this dependence too. Frequently He spoke of His reliance on His Father (p. 32.):

So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise.

John 5:19 (ESV)

I can do nothing by Myself; I judge only as I hear. And My judgment is just, because I do not seek My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.

John 5:30 (BSB)

…I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me.

John 8:28 (NIV)

I have not spoken on My own, but the Father who sent Me has commanded Me what to say and how to say it.

John 12:49 (BSB) 

Then he said, “Here I am, I have come to do your will.”

Hebrews 10:9b (NIV)

Neediness and dependence are part and parcel of being a child. And a loving father delights in helping his children.

Think of it this way: have you ever seen your child struggling to do something and wanted to help but they stubbornly refused your assistance? (Or, if you have no children of your own, remember a time you did this as a child yourself?) It pains you to see them failing and getting frustrated when, if they would just ask, you could come to their aid. Sometimes, eventually they get frustrated enough that you can ask, “Are you ready for my help now?” And if they’ve gotten to a humble place where they have to admit their need for help, you can finally step in and make it better. That’s what it’s like with God.

But conversation with a father is not limited to the times when we need help or instruction. A loving relationship between a father and his child is characterized by moments of sharing what’s on your mind, moments of quietness together, moments of expressing and receiving love. Jesus showed us how to do this by:

• carving time out of a busy schedule,

“Yet He frequently withdrew to the wilderness to pray.”

Luke 5:16 (BSB)

• being in His Father’s presence,

“And he said to them, ‘Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?’”

Luke 2:49 (ESV)

• and crying out in His moment of desperation.

“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me…. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly…”

Luke 22:42a, 44a (ESV)

Not only did Jesus model relational prayer, but He gave us examples of effective prayer methods throughout Scripture. We can learn from and follow His example by:

• Intentionally making time for prayer in our busy schedules.

Jesus chose the early morning (likely following an ancient established pattern–we see it in the Psalms, for example) (Miller, Paul E. A Praying Life, p. 35.). Choosing to spend time with God first thing in the morning elevates God to your highest priority, bringing Him glory; and it sets your heart’s and mind’s intentions for the busy day ahead. But if getting up early keeps you from praying, find another time of day that works for you. The fact that you are spending time with God is more important than when you do it.

• Praying aloud.

We know Jesus’ prayers because He prayed them aloud (Miller, Paul E. A Praying Life, p. 36). This modeled to His followers not only prayer, but also humility and surrender to His Father. And it allowed others to participate in His praying. When we pray aloud, we model it for our children and our sisters and brothers in Christ, and we make prayer a corporate experience, amplifying our faith and effectiveness. (See Matthew 18:19-20, 2 Corinthians 1:11, and James 5:16) And, as Miller points out, it becomes a declaration of faith in a God who is alive and working. I would also add that praying aloud keeps my mind from wandering; maybe it will do the same for you as well.

• Saying exactly what we mean and no more.

Jesus modeled simplicity in His prayers. Aside from His lengthy prayer in the Gospel of John (chapter 17), Jesus’ prayers are short and to the point. We don’t have to wax eloquent, pontificating with big theological words to communicate with our Father.

Praise God for our Savior! Rather than making prayer something outside of our grasp, Jesus’ modeling of both relational and effective prayer demonstrates that even as needy, dependent, and inexperienced children, we can turn to our loving heavenly Father. Boiled down to its essence, prayer is simply a conversation about whatever is on our hearts and minds.

Next month we’ll be talking about praying without ceasing, but no need to panic. You have to walk before you can run. Why don’t you pray this simple prayer with me today:

Father, I want to spend more time talking to you. Would you help me to establish that habit in my daily life?

You can be sure that is one prayer God will be pleased to answer!

If you’d like to engage with others in prayer, we have several opportunities here at Summitview to do so:

• Sunday mornings 8:30-9:15 a.m., room 204 – all church prayer
• Tuesdays during the lunch hour (12:00-12:15 p.m.) online – all church prayer, connect here (Meeting ID: 874 3467 1607; Passcode: 7ATxkb)
• 3rd Wednesday of every month 7:00-7:30 p.m., room 204 – parents of teens

Until next month, I’m praying for you.

Blessings,
Aimee Fuhrman

If I took a survey of the Body of Christ and asked, “Do you believe God is your heavenly Father?,” most if not all would respond, “Yes!” But more often than not–at least when it comes to praying–we treat God as if He’s a distant or even abusive father. Either we don’t talk to Him much, or, when we do come to Him, we pray safe prayers, hedging our requests with phrases like, “if it’s Your will.” As if He doesn’t always do His will … whether we like it or not! 

Last month we talked about how the answer is to come to God “messy” and pray like little children. But what if our relationship with our Father is dysfunctional? Paul E. Miller examines this in his book A Praying Life. Cognitively we know we have access to the Father through the Son. Our relationship with God is not based on how good we are, but on the goodness of Jesus. And because we are now adopted into the family–brothers and sisters with Jesus Himself–we are heirs of all the blessings and benefits of God’s kingdom. But too often that knowledge remains just that–head knowledge. We understand the “doctrine of Sonship;” and have a close relationship to God in theory, but practically our relationship is distant and dysfunctional (Miller, Paul E., A Praying Life, p. 5).

So how do we remedy that? What does it even mean to come like a child?

The first step is acting like God really is our Father. When a father is good, his children love to spend time with their Daddy! They want to play with their Daddy, help their Daddy, snuggle with their Daddy. They are excited to see him, and they want to spend time with him.

I remember as a young child sitting by the big picture window in our living room as the sky turned dark, watching for my own Daddy to come home. When he pulled up to the curb, I got excited. When he walked in the front door, I ran to him and threw myself at him yelling, “Daddy!” His love for me and my love for him meant I couldn’t wait to see him every night. Do you love your heavenly Father so much that you have an eager expectation and desire to spend time with Him? If you don’t, can you discern what keeps you from that place? (Is it fear? A broken relationship with your earthly father? The busyness and distractions of life? Things you crave more than God, such as entertainment?)

The next step to coming as a child is to acknowledge your helplessness and surrender to that place of neediness. Children know they can’t do it all; they are aware they don’t know it all. They need a Father who is bigger, stronger, wiser than they are to help them. So they come to their Daddy with their questions, their needs, their requests. They do so unashamedly. It’s only as we get older and “wiser” and think we ought to be able to do something on our own that we get embarrassed by or feel guilty for asking.

James 4:2c says, “You do not have, because you do not ask.” What do you need or desire but are hesitant to ask the Father for? Ask! Your heavenly Father desires to give you all good things. Does this mean you’ll never hear a “No” from God? Of course not–we all know we will–but even the “no’s” are born out of love. Even earthly fathers say no sometimes. That doesn’t stop their children from asking. Neither should a fear of hearing “No” stop us from pouring all our requests out to God. And even when we hear “No,” it might be God leading us to the place of surrender, where we finally acknowledge that neediness and give up trying to do it on our own. When we’re doing things in our own strength, relying on our own abilities, we have no reason to pray or seek God. Jesus is, in effect, an “add-on” to our lives, which is why “suffering is so important to the process of learning how to pray” (Miller, Paul E., A Praying Life, p. 48). Mature Christians pray more, not because they’re stronger, but because they recognize their weaknesses more clearly (Miller, p. 44).

The third component to becoming like a child is learning to dream again! To believe God can and will do the impossible! To believe that persistent praying will net results–like children who ask and ask and ask, knowing with enough persistence they can eventually wear down their parents’ resolve. (This is not unbiblical, by the way. Don’t believe me? Go read the parable Jesus taught his disciples regarding prayer and faith in Luke 18:1-8.) To learn how to babble again. Miller calls this “ADD praying,” and cites Paul’s prayers in Ephesians as an example: “He starts praying [in chapter one], interrupts himself, starts praying again [at the beginning of chapter three], gets distracted, and then finally finishes his prayer.” He goes on to say: “How do we structure our adult conversations? We don’t. Especially when talking with old friends, the conversation bounces from subject to subject. … Why would our prayer time be any different? After all, God is a person” (p. 28).

Prayer is just a conversation with a loving Father and friend. Think about the last conversation you had with your own father (or mother or spouse or dear friend). Your prayers should sound something like that. Really. Your Father God is waiting to hear from you. Why don’t you become like a child today and start a conversation?

Father, I admit I haven’t come to You as a child. I’ve let busyness, doubt, worry, and cynicism age my soul, but I want to become childlike again. I acknowledge my weakness and my helplessness. I need You, Father, for I cannot do it on my own. Holy Spirit, renew in me the joy and excitement of knowing You that I had when I first believed. And teach me to dream again–to believe and have persistent faith in who You are and what You can do. I let go of all ideas I may be harboring regarding what prayer should look like. I want to have conversations with You, God. After all You are my Father, my Brother, my Friend and Comforter. I love You.

This may be your question. Or maybe you’ve just given up on ever having a vibrant prayer life. Don’t lose hope! Today we’re moving beyond what stops us from praying into beginning the journey toward intimacy with our God. And, yes, it is possible!

Over the last few months we’ve discussed how prayer is daunting for many and a source of guilt. We’ve looked at hindrances to prayer including: unanswered prayers (which lead to doubt and cynicism), insincerity when praying (others’ or ours), not knowing how or what to pray (which leads to insecurity and inaction), and distractions (which pull us away from praying). It’s easy to either give up or to rely solely on prayer formulas and models. Too often, though, these models stifle our relationship with Jesus. Models are good and have a place sometimes. (In fact, we’ll examine some later on.) But because prayer is just a conversation with a person, models can feel stilted.

Think of it like this. Have you ever hit a rough spot with your spouse or another family member, or possibly in your work environment? Sometimes communication breaks down, and a pastor, counselor, or HR rep will recommend a model of communication to restore a functioning relationship. Such a model might include “active listening,” responding with phrases such as “so what I hear you saying is …,” and verbal reinforcement. Does this kind of communication feel natural? No! Because it’s not natural. However, it may be useful for a season to restore natural communication patterns. The same is true for prayer formulas and models. But if we rely solely on them, we never get to a place where genuine communication and relationship flow. As Paul E. Miller in his book A Praying Life says, “In prayer, focusing on the conversation is like trying to drive while looking at the windshield instead of through it. … Because prayer is all about relationship, we can’t work on prayer as an isolated part of life” (p. 8). 

The best place to start when you’re feeling frustrated in your prayer life is at the beginning. Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3).

Too often we understand grace when it comes to being saved. We know a person doesn’t have to have it all together when they come to Jesus for the first time. But somehow we forget that when it comes to prayer. But the fact is, Jesus still wants us to come as we are!

The difficulty of coming just as we are is that we are messy. And prayer makes it worse. When we slow down to pray, we are immediately confronted with how unspiritual we are, with how difficult it is to concentrate on God. We don’t know how bad we are until we try to be good. Nothing exposes our selfishness and spiritual powerlessness like prayer.

(Paul E. Miller, A Praying Life, p. 19)

The kind of childlike faith Jesus described is helpful when we pray. Children aren’t hindered by their selfishness or their lack of knowledge. They just come. Sometimes they ask boldly, because they know exactly what they want. Sometimes they tell you what they think, not questioning if it’s right or not; they simply want to share their thoughts with you. Sometimes they dream aloud, not hindered by what’s “possible.” And when their mind thinks of something else, they’re off on that tangent … or not. Maybe they’re just done, and they scamper off to do something else. They are genuine and in the moment. That is how we need to approach our Father.

Jesus [did] not say, “Come to me, all you who have learned how to concentrate in prayer, whose minds no longer wander, and I will give you rest.” No, Jesus opens his arms to his needy children and says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden ….” The criteria for coming to Jesus is weariness. Come overwhelmed with life. Come with your wandering mind. Come messy.

(Paul E. Miller, A Praying Life, p.19-20)

Miller goes on to say when we’re “weary,” we have trouble concentrating. When we’re “heavy-laden,” we don’t even know where to begin (p. 20). And that’s okay. Jesus is saying, “Just come and tell me where you’re at, what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking … or just sit and cry a little, and I’ll hold you.” Don’t try to get prayer “right;” just talk to God like a child would. To do otherwise is to be artificial with God and religious, which is what the Pharisees did. Jesus wants authenticity not religious formulas.

If you want a vibrant prayer life but doubt it’s possible, or if you have tried prayer models before and become frustrated, here are a few encouragements:

• A vibrant prayer life and a close relationship with God aren’t something you “accomplish” in a set time period. They are part of a lifelong journey.
• Our prayer life and our relationship with God will have ups and downs–seasons of vibrancy and excitement and seasons that feel dry and like a long hike up a 14er.
• Just as in any relationship, when things get tough, the answer is not to give up. It’s to keep hoping and keep working on it. Little steps eventually cover the distance.
• You don’t have to get it “right.” Any little prayer is a great place to start. Jesus really will take you just as you are.

Last month we talked about two hindrances: unanswered prayers—which lead to cynicism—and insincerity (of ourselves or others) when approaching prayer requests. (If you missed that article you can read it here.) But what about the act of praying itself? I, along with Paul E. Miller, author of the book A Praying Life (which we are examining this year), believe that most Christians find prayer difficult at some level. Often we want to talk to God but find we can’t. Sometimes we don’t know what to say; we don’t know how or what to pray and feel inadequate for the task. Other times we lose focus, distracted by a thousand more “productive” things we could be doing. Alternately, we are drawn away by the allure of something easier and more entertaining. In short, prayer isn’t very “fun,” and our flesh fights it. And sometimes we wonder if our prayers make a difference. Even when they seem to be answered, we wonder if the “answer” was directly impacted by our praying or if the outcome just happened by chance. Does prayer work? Should we continue with such an uncertain endeavor?

With all of these thoughts and hindrances tugging at us, no wonder we find it hard to pray! Let’s look at these additional roadblocks a little closer.

Hindrance #3 – I don’t know what to say/I can’t pray the way I “should”

Despite being told prayer is “just talking to a friend,” we still struggle. It’s hard to talk to someone you can’t see or hear, to someone who doesn’t talk back. Too few have trained their spiritual ear to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit (something that takes time and stillness and surrender). So we rely on formulas—the ACTS model, for example, or even The Lord’s Prayer—but they feel formulaic and stilted. And that’s if we even get beyond the first step! As Miller puts it, “We vaguely sense we should begin by focusing on God, not on ourselves.” So we try to worship, “but it feels contrived, then guilt sets in” again, and any connection we might have had is lost. We feel like someone who is cheating on their spouse, trying to say “I love you” sincerely while all the while knowing their heart is really divided.

And even if we get beyond the first step of adoration and praise, we’re likely to hit a wall at some point. Perhaps we encounter a need greater than our measure of faith, or a person who seems too far gone, or a request that we just don’t know how to intercede for. Sometimes we’re at a loss! “God, I don’t even know what to pray…” And of course, the Accuser of the brethren is right there to point out to us how insincere or inadequate we are. Satan’s good at that.

But Scripture tells us we don’t have to know what to pray!

“In the same way the Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words”

(Romans 8:26, Amplified)

Hindrance #4 – I can’t stay focused/I get distracted by other things

Consider this scenario…You pause in your day with every intention of spending some time in prayer, but just 5 minutes in (sometimes less), you find yourself distracted. By sheer force, you try again, but the pattern repeats itself.

Miller puts it this way, “We are so busy that when we slow down to pray, we find it uncomfortable. We prize accomplishments, production. [Prayer] feels useless, as if we are wasting time.” And when we try to be still, the quiet suffocates us. We itch for the incessant noise of our culture. We also “prize intellect, competency and wealth…Money can do whatever prayer does, and it is quicker and less time-consuming. Our trust in ourselves and in our talents makes us structurally independent of God.” Our relationship with God is dysfunctional.

Eventually, you give up trying to pray, adding guilt at being such a “bad” Christian to your failure to pray. Distraction is one of the enemy’s biggest tactics for hindering our prayers. Weak prayer muscles or a dysfunctional relationship with God make us especially vulnerable to this tactic. But Jesus wants to restore that intimate relationship. He wants to impart His victory to us! Read what He says in His Revelation. (Note: Though this passage is often aimed at bringing in the unbeliever, Jesus is actually addressing the churches.)

Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

(Revelation 3:19-22, NIV)

Hindrance #5 – I don’t know if prayer really works

Many of us have tried prayer lists as a tool to help focus our prayers and keep ourselves on task. But when we add a need here and another one there, along with our family members…and friends…and unsaved co-workers or neighbors…and small group members…and …Suddening our prayer list feels long and daunting! Praying through it repeatedly feels boring, especially when we don’t even know if our prayers are working. “When someone is healed or helped,” Miller writes, “we wonder if it would have happened anyway.” This is another of Satan’s specialties. He’s been sowing seeds of doubt since the Garden of Eden. But God has promised that when we pray in faith, He is moving to answer our prayers.

“For this reason I am telling you, whatever things you ask for in prayer [in accordance with God’s will], believe [with confident trust] that you have received them, and they will be given to you”.

(Mark 11:24, Amplified)

These hindrances to earnest regular prayer are real and more common than they should be. So often we know our need for prayer, but the very act of praying exposes something we’d rather not face. Too often “praying exposes how self-preoccupied we are and uncovers our doubts. It [is] easier on our faith not to pray” (Miller). So we don’t.

But we must! Prayer itself is the very antidote for this sickness. We must fight the lies of the enemy which would keep us from coming before the throne of grace. We must fight the flesh which wages war against our spirit. We must fight the notions that prayer has to be done perfectly or not at all. We must come to God as we are and begin again.

Would you pray this prayer with me today?

Lord, I have felt all of these “failures.” I do want to talk to You, but sometimes I don’t even know what to say. Would You teach me, like You did Your disciples, how to pray in a way that makes sense to me? And when I lack the words, Holy Spirit, intercede for me. Lord, I do want a relationship with You that is genuine, but my noisy, busy life distracts me. Teach me how to be still. Train my spiritual ears to hear Your voice. My modern existence diminishes my need for You. Reveal to me how desperately I really do need You. I want to pray effectively, but my spiritual muscles are weak. I feel like the disciples who fell asleep when You asked them to watch and pray with You in the Garden of Gethsemane. Holy Spirit, would You help me for the rest of this year to be diligent to exercise those muscles, to grow in my ability and passion for prayer. Amen.

If you’d like encouragement and support in your prayer life, consider joining one of Summitview’s regular prayer opportunities:

• Sunday mornings 8:30-9:15 a.m., room 204 – all church prayer
• Tuesdays during the lunch hour (12:00-12:15 p.m.) online – all church prayer, connect here.
• 3rd Wednesday of every month 7:00-7:30 p.m., room 204 – parents of teens

If you’d like to get your own copy of A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller, you can order it on Amazon here.

Until next month…I’m praying for you,
Aimee Furhman

Last month we talked about how many of us find prayer difficult and attributed that to the enemy’s schemes to keep us from spending time in prayer. (If you missed that article, you can read it here.) But this month and next I’d like to look at some of the biggest hindrances to prayer in our mindsets and our day-to-day habits. More likely than not, you will find yourself identifying with one or more of these. Satan wants to bring condemnation in this. But take heart; you are not alone! Others, many others, have felt the same way you feel. And identifying the hindrances helps us to tackle them head-on through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Hindrance #1 – Unanswered prayers

We’ve all been there–down on our knees, fervently begging God for the salvation of a loved one, the return of a wayward child, the mending of a broken marriage, or the healing of a physical malady. We muster all the faith we’ve got and pour out our heart to God…only to be met with seeming silence. The prayer goes “unanswered,” and our faith wanes. Stack a few of these “unanswered” prayers on top of each other, and doubt creeps in. Is God there? Is He listening? Does prayer work? Leave doubt to fester, and a steely cynicism creeps in, crusting our heart in a protective shield of wariness toward the very One who is our source of hope and life.

Paul E. Miller in his book A Praying Life writes:

Few of us have…courage to articulate the quiet cynicism or spiritual weariness that develops within us when heartfelt prayer goes unanswered. We keep our doubts hidden even from ourselves because we don’t want to sound like bad Christians. No reason to add shame to our cynicism. So our hearts shut down.

I’ve been there–shut down because of unanswered prayers, hurting and doubting, living in cynicism and trying to avoid looking it in the face because I don’t want the shame that will come with it. Maybe you’ve been there too. Maybe you’re there now. Maybe it’s time to look that cynicism in the face and call it what it is. Repentance brings healing.

Hindrance #2 – Insincerity

Theoretically, the body of Christ should be our support system. Our brothers and sisters should be the ones we turn to to bear our burdens, carrying our concerns to Jesus and agree with us for our needs. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way. We’ve all experienced the scenario where we get up the courage to be vulnerable only to have someone listen halfheartedly, nod, and say, “I’ll pray for you.” But we doubt their sincerity or their commitment to actually carry our need to the Father.

Or perhaps you’ve been on the insincere side of this scenario. You didn’t give enough attention or compassion to a hurting brother or sister. You threw them a glib phrase to placate your guilt. Or maybe you actually meant well but never got around to acting on your promise, making it an empty one.

Miller addresses all of this, continuing his discussion of our cynicism when it comes to prayer:

The glib way people talk about prayer often reinforces our cynicism. We end our conversations with “I’ll keep you in my prayers.” We have a vocabulary of “prayer speak,” including “I’ll lift you up in prayer” and “I’ll remember you in prayer.” Many who use these phrases, including us, never get around to praying. Why? Because we don’t think prayer makes much difference.

But prayer does matter! God promises it does. James 5:16b says, “The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much” (NKJV). And despite our experiences with “unanswered prayer,” Isaiah 59:1 tells us, “The LORD hasn’t lost his powerful strength; he can still hear and answer prayers” (CEV).

In the coming months we’ll examine strategies for combating these prayer problems, but for now, perhaps it is enough to recognize ourselves in these scenarios, to sit with the tension and angst of these feelings. Perhaps it is enough to acknowledge the problem and surrender it to our Savior. I hope these prayers help. . .

A Prayer for Doubt & Cynicism:

God, I don’t want my heart to shut down when it comes to talking to You, but if I’m honest I have developed an unspoken cynicism; I have become confused and hurt over unanswered prayers; I have become weary of praying. I admit this is where I’m at, Lord. This is where You’re going to have to meet me.

A Prayer for Insincerity:

Lord, I’ve been among those who doubt that prayer makes a difference. This is a lack of faith, so I confess that and repent. Grow my faith in You, Father–in Your loving kindness and faithfulness in all things. And change my heart so that I once again turn to You in every situation.

God, I also admit that I’ve told people I would pray for them and then never have. I repent of this as well. Give me an honest heart and lips. When I tell someone I will pray for them, Holy Spirit, bring them to my mind so I remember to do so. And help me discipline myself to stop and actually pray when You speak to me.

Just a reminder that you are invited to join us for corporate prayer any of these times:

• Sunday mornings 8:30-9:15 a.m., room 204 – all church prayer
• Tuesdays during the lunch hour (12:00-12:15 p.m.) online – all church prayer, connect here.
• 3rd Wednesday of every month 7:00-7:30 p.m., room 204 – parents of teens

If you’d like to get your own copy of A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller, you can order it on Amazon here.

Until next month…I’m praying for you,

Aimee Furhman

Prayer…Is it a sweet comfort you look forward to every day–one that is a part of your daily life? Or does it conjure feelings of guilt or dread? I’ve had those feelings too! Though most would describe me now as a “prayer warrior,” I wasn’t always one. Not so many years ago I struggled to pray.

Many, if not most, Christians find prayer difficult at some level. David Powlison, in his forward to A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller, says:

It’s hard to pray. It’s hard enough for many of us to make an honest request to a friend we trust for something we truly need. But when the request gets labeled as “praying” and the friend is termed “God,” things often get very tangled up.

And even if we’re good at making requests of God, other forms of praying may feel stilted. That’s because, for many of us, prayer has become a “production,” as Powlison labels it. We think it has to last for a certain amount of time or include Christian verbiage or formulaic elements we’ve been taught. And so prayer becomes a “discipline” at best, or, for most of us, a chore in reality. Couple that with the notion most of us hold that Christians “should” pray, and we often experience some level of guilt with our non-prayer saturated lives. No wonder we don’t want to engage!

Some of the more motivated of us may attempt to change ourselves. Perhaps prayer becomes a New Year’s resolution. “I’ll do better this year,” we convince ourselves. But, like most New Year’s resolutions, we start strong but find ourselves derailed by mid-January (if we’re lucky).

Yet prayer, as we cognitively know, is just talking with a friend. It shouldn’t be difficult or onerous. So why do we struggle?

I think the answer lies in the fact that every single person who accepts Jesus’ free gift of salvation is engaged in a raging battle (whether we’re aware of it or not). When you were transferred from the domain of darkness into the kingdom of God’s beloved son (Colossians 1:13), Satan lost the battle for your soul. Now his goal in your life is to wreck as much havoc as he can, derailing you and preventing you from experiencing the joy and victory Jesus purchased for you.

Prayer is one of our primary weapons against the enemy, so Satan is going to do everything in his power to keep us from engaging in it. He effectively uses all kinds of lies and distractions to interfere in your connection with God and your victory over the darkness.

“So what do I do?” you might ask. In this case the standard Sunday school answer works!

Thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ…

2 Corinthians 2:14a, NASB

Jesus is our battle commander and has given us everything we need to engage our enemy and come out victorious! Not only this, but He’s given us His Spirit to indwell us and empower us. A powerful prayer life requires only a little training, some practice, and surrender to our commander. Truly.

This year one of the pastors’ goals for our church body is to focus on prayer together. We’ll learn and grow in our skills as spiritual warriors. We’ll grow our prayer muscles and develop hearts and habits toward prayer. We’ll encourage one another and keep each other accountable.

Every month you’ll receive a prayer blog from me to encourage you and provide insight and tools toward growth. I’ll be loosely following Paul E. Miller’s book A Praying Life. It is one of the best resources I’ve found on understanding and engaging in prayer. I highly recommend you get a copy and read it for yourself! You can order it on Amazon here.

We’ll also have an increased number of opportunities for you to pray with fellow believers. This provides practice (remember I said you’ve got to develop your prayer muscles!) and accountability. It also has the added benefit of covering our church in prayer, so the enemy can’t work havoc here! Currently, these opportunities exist for corporate prayer:

• Sunday mornings 8:30-9:15 a.m., room 204 – all church prayer
• Tuesdays during the lunch hour (12:00-12:15 p.m.) online – all church prayer, connect here
• 3rd Wednesday of every month 7:00-7:30 p.m., room 204 – parents of teens

God wants you walking in victory, and He wants a sweet and personal relationship with you! But this doesn’t come by trying harder. It comes by cooperating with the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit in your life. The above are just tools to help you do this. The real work comes through humility and surrender. May this prayer be the beginning of that journey for you:

Lord, I want to grow in my relationship with You and in my prayer walk. I don’t want to try to change myself anymore; I just want to be real and honest with You. I know You want me to walk in victory over the schemes of the devil, so I surrender to You. Holy Spirit, do the transforming work in this area of my life.

Until next month…I’m praying for you,
Aimee Fuhrman