Aimee Fuhrman

As we’ve discussed in the past, prayer isn’t always easy, and prayer models can be helpful for focusing our hearts and minds and giving us a framework for praying. Last time we began looking at the popular ACTS prayer model. This model leads the Christian through a progression of prayer using the acronym ACTS to put the flow of prayer in an easy-to-remember format. ACTS stands for:

A = adoration
C = confession
T = thanksgiving
S = supplication (requests)  

Last time we looked at Adoration—what it is and how we need to relate to God in this way. This month let’s dive into confession. For just as Adoration is good for renewing our minds and realigning our hearts, so confession is good for clearing our conscience and reestablishing fellowship with our God.

We all know (or think we know) what confession entails, but let’s take a quick look at the dictionary definition to help flesh this out a little more:

Confess
1 : to tell or make known (something, such as something wrong or damaging to oneself) : admit
2 : to disclose one’s faults
specifically : to unburden one’s sins or the state of one’s conscience to God or to a priest
3 : to declare faith in or adherence to : profess

Clearly, confession involves, as we know it does, admitting our sin—faults, failures, disobedience, and rebellion to God and, perhaps, others (more on that later). But I want to take just a closer look at some of the nuances of that definition, because I think they’re helpful in getting our hearts in the right place.

Take a look at the first definition—to tell or make known something, specifically something wrong.

But did you notice that last phrase? Damaging to oneself. Interesting…our sin doesn’t just hurt others; it hurts ourselves. If I yell at my kids or my spouse, I damage that relationship; I hurt my own home and family. If I gossip about someone at work or school, I hurt not only the environment in which I have to work/study daily, but also my reputation; people can’t trust me to be kind and gracious. If I consume drugs, too much alcohol, too much food, pornography, etc., I damage my own body and soul. You get the idea. Confession is good for me.

Couple that with the next definition—to disclose one’s faults.

This isn’t easy to do. Sin nature makes us inclined to hide our sins, both from others and from God. When Adam and Eve sinned, they experienced guilt, shame, and fear, which led them to sew fig leaves together to try and hide their nakedness, and they “hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden” (Genesis 3:8b). But confession allows you to unburden the sins weighing heavy on your conscience. That in itself is so freeing! You know how terrible it feels when you’re hiding a sin…oh, the weight on your conscience! It’s oppressive—not just spiritually, but mentally, emotionally, and even physically. There’s plenty of scientific data detailing how a guilty conscience can lead to all kinds of health problems. But this shouldn’t surprise us as Christians; God has told us in His Word the physical effects of sin: “when I kept silent, my bones wasted away….[and] my strength was dried up…” (Psalm 32:3a & 4b). Unburdening our sin clears our conscience, freeing us from the oppressive weight of guilt.

But there’s another part to that second definition—the part about confessing to another person. Other church traditions emphasize this more, but we in the evangelical tradition don’t like this one. And no wonder! It’s uncomfortable at best and more often embarrassing or humiliating to disclose our hidden sins to another person. We know God will forgive us—He’s promised to (1 John 1:9)—but what will someone else think of us if they were to know our deepest secrets, our hidden sins? Confession to another exposes us in a way nothing else does—not unlike Adam and Eve’s nakedness being exposed. And when we confess, it’s tempting to try and pass the blame or try to make excuses for why we did what we did (also like Adam and Eve, see Genesis 3:12-13). But we must fight this tendency! If hidden sin brings guilt that may result in health problems, confession to another leads to the opposite! According to God’s Word, this kind of “public” confession is good not only for the soul but the body as well: “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James 5:16a).

Finally, let’s look at the third definition—to declare our faith in or adherence to.

This one’s different and not something we’d normally associate with confession, but when we examine it further we see it really is a part of full confession and the forgiveness of God that comes with confession. We know that God forgives all sin. In fact, the Bible tells us that “as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12). In fact, He not only forgives us and removes the sin and guilt from us, but He forgets the sins we repent of: “’I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more,’ says the Lord” (Jeremiah 31:34).

But Satan doesn’t want us to believe it! As the accuser of the children of God (Revelation 12:10), Satan will use every sin you’ve ever committed to plague you with guilt, shame, fear, doubt, and any number of other demonic lies. If not aware of this scheme and equipped with the truth, it is easy to crumble under these accusations. But true confession not only includes disclosing our faults and failures, admitting our sins, and repenting of them, it also includes confessing that Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross was sufficient to cover them. When we confess our sins and repent of them, we declare our faith in Jesus and our adherence to the Gospel—that is, the good news that God our heavenly Father has extended His mercy to us because of the blood of Jesus. Our sins have been replaced by the righteousness of our Savior…What glorious freedom! No better truth has ever been, nor ever will be, proclaimed. The penalty of sin has been paid, and Satan’s accusations do not hold up in the courts of Heaven.

So as you confess your sins to God, also profess this truth—to yourself and to the father of lies who would rob you of your peace and joy:

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah

I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

Therefore let everyone who is godly
offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters,
they shall not reach him.
You are a hiding place for me;
you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding,
which must be curbed with bit and bridle,
or it will not stay near you.

Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.
Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

Psalm 32

Until next time… Blessings,
Aimee

In our last conversation about prayer, we talked about the times when prayer feels undoable and how prewritten prayers along with prayer models can serve as tools to bridge the gap that may exist when we have a need or desire to pray but experience a lack of ability (for a variety of reasons). We looked at how The Lord’s Prayer can serve as a model for praying or as a prayer to be prayed as is. This month, and in the three to follow, we’re going to look at the ACTS model for praying.

Many are familiar with this time-tested model of prayer. It is popular and has stood the test of time for a reason. If you’re not familiar (or need a refresher), ACTS serves as an acronym, leading the Christian through a progression of prayer which touches on several aspects of the Lord’s Prayer while putting them in an easy-to-remember format. In short, ACTS stands for:

A = adoration
C = confession
T = thanksgiving
S = supplication (requests)   

If you’ve used this prayer model before, you know how helpful it can be to get us out of the rut of just asking for what we want or need. Supplications are there, of course, but it puts them in perspective, first focusing the heart of the Believer on the God who answers prayer then seeking His intervention. The downside to this (or any model) is that, if overused, it can become rote and stale, thereby losing its effectiveness.

In an effort to breathe new life into this prayer model, I’d love to examine its elements one by one. Let’s see if we can find the life-giving intent behind each step, reviving its freshness and, perhaps, reminding you of (or giving you) this effective tool to keep in your back pocket for the days you know you need to pray—perhaps you even want to pray—but don’t know where to start.

ADORATION

There’s a reason this model of prayer starts with adoration. It should, in all honesty, be the place from which we approach God every time we come to Him. He alone deserves our undivided, undying affection, yet we so often fail to give it to Him.

Adoration, of course, is the nominative form of the verb adore. The definition of adore (according to Google) is to:
1: love and respect deeply
2: venerate (worship)
But if I were to put adore in plainspeak, I’d say “head-over-heels, under-your-skin crazy about someone or something!”

We’ve all been there at one point—whether it was our favorite pet as a child, our first crush as a youth, or those early days of dating and engagement when the sparks flew with the love of our life. But though these pictures are helpful—our God is faithful and comforting, exciting and all-consuming—I want you to picture the love we have for littles in our lives (whether children, grandchildren, younger siblings, nieces/nephews, etc.). We often refer to babies and toddlers as “adorable,” but what do we even mean by that? Let’s remind ourselves what adorable really is.

Think about the first moment you held that precious baby in your arms and looked at that little face. Oh, the overwhelming love! You’d do anything for that little one. Their cute little toes and nose, their baby-soft skin and silky hair captivated you. As they grew and began smiling and babbling and laughing…well, there’s nothing like the pure chortle of a baby to make the heart of every single person in the room sing with joy. As they crawled and then walked, talked and began to reason, we marveled at their inquisitiveness, their wonder, their creativity, and we rediscovered the world through their eyes.

Does God captivate you that way? Does your heart absolutely burst with love for Him? Does He make your soul sing? Would you really do anything for Him? Because that’s the kind of love God asks of us. Mark 12:30 says: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”  It is an all-encompassing, all-consuming love. But if we’re honest, most if not all of us would have to answer the questions above with, “No. I want to love God that way, but I’m not there yet.”

David, one of the greatest worshippers of all time, felt the same way. He loved God with all that he could, but he was also painfully aware that there were portions of his flesh (his soul) that didn’t love God like he should. Which is why in so many of his psalms he exhorts his soul to worship and adore God! He is constantly reminding himself to remember the faithful things God has done and all that God is—the character qualities that deserve, no, require adoration!

If you’re feeling the disconnect in your own soul of knowing you should love God more but realizing your heart is fickle, would you pray this prayer of David today? And would you commit to spending just a moment in the busyness of each day these next few weeks to focus your heart and mind on who God is and why He is so ADORABLE!

Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all who are oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.
The LORD is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children’s children,
to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
The LORD has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all.

Bless the LORD, O you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his word,
obeying the voice of his word!
Bless the LORD, all his hosts,
his ministers, who do his will!
Bless the LORD, all his works,
in all places of his dominion.
Bless the LORD, O my soul!

Psalm 103

Until next time. . .

Blessings,
Aimee

I’ve spent a good deal of time in past posts (you can access them here) discussing our need to be real with God, honest, raw… to come like a little child (with all the messiness and disjointedness that brings)… and to pray earnestly and fervently. But what if you just don’t have the energy, the faith, or even the desire to pray those kinds of “real” prayers? Because it happens to the best of us! Life gets busy and overwhelming and we feel exhausted; or disappointments, heartaches, and “unanswered prayers” build up until we’re not sure we trust God anymore (or even believe He’s actually there). Sometimes we just don’t feel like praying. What do we do then?

If you feel this way, I want to start by saying you’re not alone. I’ve been there—tired, angry, hurt, overwhelmed, lacking any faith, ready to give up on God. Chances are, if you feel any of these right now, someone else in the church does too. But Christians are good at hiding their real feelings on Sundays (and even in small groups), so it can feel like you’re alone in a sea of people who are stronger in their faith, sailing through life unplagued by the doubt and darkness you feel in your own soul.

First, God sees and understands your feelings.
Jesus came for this very reason.

Fully God but still fully man, He experienced all the exhaustion, pain, heartache, loss, disappointment, and temptation you do. Even Jesus shared the feeling that God has abandoned us. His very words from the cross indicate this: “My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?” We have a God who can identify with us. He does not intend for prayer to be a burden, a task we have to accomplish in order to earn His favor. He wants prayer to be a place of healing, strengthening, and refreshing. If prayer feels onerous, it’s because we’ve got a skewed idea of what it’s “supposed” to be.

Second, it is okay to use someone else’s model or prayer as your own.
Let me say that again, it is okay to rely on someone else’s model or prayer.

And yes, I know, I’ve talked about how prayer models can feel stilted, how they can become rote and lack “life,” how they can become a crutch. But the fact remains that they exist (and are popular) for a reason. In fact, I would dare say they may even be a means of God’s grace. This feeling of not knowing what or how to pray is such a part of the human condition that God in His mercy has provided for our lack. Scripture, historic Church writings, and ongoing Christian discipleship resources contain a plethora of prayers already written for us, covering just about every situation and condition of the soul. Those who have gone through the same valleys have written down their prayers for our use. You don’t have to have the strength or faith or mental capacity to figure out what to say and how to pray; all you have to do is open a book (or a digital file) and say the words.

Over the next few months I want to look at several prayers and prayer models. I hope they will be valuable tools you can put in your toolbelt for use as needed. And since God’s Word is always a good starting place, let’s consider The Lord’s Prayer, Jesus’ very words, given to His disciples when they felt their own need for a prayer model:

Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come,

your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.

  Matthew 6:9-13

This is a powerful prayer to pray just as it is (as millions of Christians have and continue to do)! Or, you can use it as Jesus intended, as a guide for your own prayers. We could spend an entire blog post considering how to do this, but this tool which walks you through each line of the Lord’s prayer, examining the premise behind it and helping you make it your own is already posted on the prayer page of our website, so I’ll just direct you there. Perhaps you can include the Lord’s Prayer in your prayer repertoire this month.

In addition, I’d like to encourage you that sometimes it’s okay to just sit and say, “God, I don’t know what to say OR I don’t really want to pray right now; Holy Spirit help me.” Because He will help you! God’s Word promises us this:

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Romans 8:26-27

Until next month, I pray you will make time in your schedule to have a conversation with God, even if you simply repeat the words of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Blessings,
Aimee

Hello Summitview family,

I love you, and I am consistently and persistently lifting you up to God in prayer! (Just wanted you to know. 🙂)

It’s been just over a month now since we launched a Prayer Team ministry at Summitview. Hopefully by now you know about this team of people who are called by God and dedicated to intercession. We are available after every service to pray with and for you. All prayers are private and kept confidential.

So many of you have already taken advantage of this opportunity, and we have been so blessed to come alongside you and pray for you. We’ve been humbled by your honest vulnerability and your sincere trust in both us as your brothers and sisters in Christ and in God’s ability to meet you in your place of need. If you haven’t taken advantage of this new ministry, I would encourage you to do so! As Jolie said in her announcement that very first Sunday, it is when we are vulnerable enough to get honest and real with each other–to get messy and raw–that healing and growth can occur. This is when true forgiveness and unity occur within the Body of Christ; it is when we really get to “carry one another’s burdens” (as Galatians 6:2 says), and when the Holy Spirit can move in mighty ways!

But that kind of vulnerability can be difficult, I know. It’s not easy to admit you’ve got a problem or a sin struggle you can’t overcome; it’s hard to admit you can’t do it on your own and to ask for help. But we are exhorted and even commanded in Scripture to engage in this kind of transparent process! That’s why I’d like to look today at three reasons why you should swallow your pride, be humble and honest, and seek the intercession of your brothers and sisters in Christ (whether with the Prayer Team, your small group, or an accountability partner.) Let’s look to Scripture to see what God says.

First. . .

We are commanded to bring every need and request to God:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Most of us are well familiar with this verse, but how consistently do we actually apply it? I personally cannot say that I go through life without any anxiety about anything. I doubt you can either (pastors included). And I know how easy it is to consult God last rather than first. I daily find myself trying to problem solve on my own, or asking someone else’s opinion, or Googling the solution—as if the collective knowledge of the planet is somehow greater or better than the God of the universe! And I know, some problems seem so insignificant. . . like they are not worth bothering God about. But look again at what the verse says, “in everything. . .let your requests be made known to God.” If we look at the Greek, that word “everything” is panti and means. . . you guessed it, EVERYTHING! (Actually, if we go to the Strong’s Concordance definition it says, “all, every, whole, entire,” so take your pick of which of these you’d like to focus on—but they all mean everything.)

The amazing thing is that this verse comes with a promise:

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (verse 7)

I like how the New Living Translation puts it; it says, “…God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.” This is the kind of peace that comes from God even when according to the circumstances of your life, you should be freaking out. It’s the kind of peace that makes people question how you can be so calm. It’s the kind of peace that holds us near to the Father’s heart and even opens the door for us to share the good news of Jesus in the midst of life’s trials. But that peace is promised after we pray, after we take our anxieties, concerns, problems, requests, and petitions to God. It requires an act of faith, obedience, and surrender. If you’ve been lacking this kind of unshakable peace in your life, maybe it’s time to come forward and “let your requests be made known to God.”

Second. . .

Healing—physical, emotional, and spiritual—comes through confession and prayer:

Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit.

My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

James 5:13-20

Here we are commanded not just to pray but to do it with others. And we are told to confess our sins to each other as well. Yes, one could argue that this verse only indicates we go to the elders of the church, but there are plenty of other verses in Scripture which would indicate we are all called to this ministry of confession,  intercession, and healing within the Body of Christ.

• We are all part of the priesthood—see 1 Peter 2:5 & 9; Revelation 1:5b-6a
• We are all told to come alongside people in every type of situation—Romans 12:15; Galatians 6:1-2; Philippians 2:1-4
• We are all told to participate in God’s work of saving, healing, and delivering those in bondage—Luke 9:1-2 & 10:1, 9, 17-20; Matthew 28:18-20

So, how about you? Are you suffering? Are you cheerful? Are you sick? Do you need to confess sin? Any and all of these (along with so many others) are reasons to come forward and ask for prayer. Humble yourself and allow others to come alongside you; let your brothers and sisters in Christ share your joys, sorrows, pain, suffering, and burdens!

And finally. . .

There is power when we come together in prayer:

Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.

Matthew 18:18-20

Wow! Jesus has promised us He will move in power when we come together and agree in prayer.

No, this is not a carte blanche statement—we don’t get to ask for convertible Porches and luxury yachts in the Bahamas. (We’ve already addressed this issue in previous blog posts, see also James 4:2-4.) But we are guaranteed that when we pray in accordance with God’s will, He does hear and will answer those prayers.

And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.

1 John 5:14-15

Why would you not want others to join you in petitioning the Father? His Word is true! And Jesus has promised that as we come before Him together, petitioning Him with one voice and heart, that His Spirit will show up in power. . . for salvation, for peace and comfort, for healing and deliverance.

You don’t have to go it alone. Your family is here for you.

Until next month, be blessed and remember that I am praying for you.
Aimee

In the past couple of blog posts we’ve examined how hope and thanksgiving are the basis for prayer in general and, more specifically, for praying boldly and audaciously. And we’ve looked at our need to cultivate a habit of prayer rooted in a relationship with our Lord. I ended last month with this sentiment:

And so, dear brothers and sisters, yes, it is needful to discipline ourselves and make it a habit to pray. But to arrive at a lifestyle of prayer–one of praying without ceasing–our wisest course of action is to fall in love with Jesus. To be so captivated by who He is and what He’s done for us that we cannot help but want to love and serve Him. And out of the overflow of love and gratitude in our hearts, we begin a conversation with Him which never ends. 

As Christians in the evangelical tradition, we talk a lot about how true Christianity is not a religion but a “relationship with God.” But what does that really mean, and how, exactly, does one develop a relationship with a spirit–the God of the universe, no less!–someone you’ve never seen before (and likely won’t until you die)? Well, that is the question we’re going to tackle today. So keep reading, because I think you’re going to be encouraged.

So often we bemoan how our modern existence with all its busyness and distractions interferes with our ability to focus our attention on the spiritual disciplines so helpful in our ongoing sanctification. But perhaps, for once, we should be thankful. Some of our modern distractions, when looked at through the appropriate lens, actually illustrate connecting in relationship to a God who might otherwise seem removed and unreachable. To highlight this, let me tell you a story.

My husband Eric and I (who have been married for 30 years now) started dating our senior year of high school. But instead of altering our college plans for each other, as some do, we made the “sensible” decision to attend our universities of choice. Eric came here to CSU, and I went off to Taylor University in Indiana twenty-plus hours away. For the first two years of this long-distance relationship, we had to content ourselves with writing “snail mail” letters and scheduling “phone dates.” These “dates” were scheduled to make sure we’d both be in our rooms at the right time because cell phones were very, very rare. Get the picture in your mind–I’m stuck in my dorm room anxiously waiting for the corded phone hanging on the wall to ring so I can spend the next 30 minutes talking to the man I love. (Talk much longer and the bill was going to be totally out of reach for our college student budgets.) Was this arrangement inconvenient and limited? Yes! But we did it because we were desperate for connection. Think of this phase of our relationship as a picture of God’s people when the Temple was the only place to connect directly with God (and that through a priest!).

But then our third year of college, we discovered this magical and newfangled thing called email. Suddenly I could write a letter to Eric whenever it was convenient for me, and he would receive it, not days later but hours (or even minutes) later when he went to the computer lab. Email revolutionized the way we could communicate! As a picture of our relationship with God, get a growing sense of God’s nearness and immediacy.

Nowadays, of course, it’s even easier to connect with the people we love. Yes, we can still write paper letters or make scheduled phone calls if we want to (think Bible studies and Sunday morning services). But we can also send emails and text messages that are received and often read nearly immediately (think an ongoing conversation with the Holy Spirit) or jump on a video chat for a face-to-face interaction, even when miles away (think time set aside to intentionally connect with God).

I hope you’re getting the picture here. Cultivating a relationship with God isn’t as intimidating as it might seem at first. It happens the same way any relationship develops and grows. . . with time spent together. It involves:

• Sharing your heart openly and honestly (the good, the bad, and the ugly)
• Listening to and paying attention to the other person’s heart
• Dreaming together
• Making plans and carrying them out together
• Keeping each other accountable
• Laughing together. . . and crying together

All of these things and more can characterize our relationship with the Lord, and the primary vehicle by which they occur is prayer. 

I hope during this coming month you’ll try each of these approaches to deepen your relationship with Jesus. Go ahead and:

• Engage with that paper and ink love letter (the Bible)
• Keep that scheduled “date” (Sunday worship)
• Hop on a virtual chat (personal and intentional time with God)

And finally (and perhaps foremost). . .

• Keep the conversation that flows as a natural extension of your relationship (prayers of worship/love, thanks, intercession, petition, surrender, dependance, and desperation) going as frequently and spontaneously as you do your text threads!

P.S. Don’t forget the ongoing opportunities for corporate prayer that John highlighted in his sermon on prayer. You can find them here. And remember, y’all 😉, we’re in this together!*

Until next time, I’m praying for you.

Blessings,
Aimee

*If you missed John’s sermon on prayer, you can listen to it here.

If you were not at the Day With God we had here at the church, you missed something special! (Don’t worry; I fully believe we’ll have more. Set an intention now to join us next time we do!) God’s presence could be felt throughout the building. And it was such an encouragement to see so many people–so many of our family of believers–pressing in and seeking God together. There is power in praying together. Jesus himself said, “Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them” (Matthew 18:18-20).

Obviously, we know that is not a carte blanche statement; we still have to be praying and agreeing according to God’s will (see 1 John 5:14-15 & James 4:3). But when our prayers are aligned with God’s will, we have the promise that He will do it! This is our hope.

Last month we talked about how to cultivate boldness in our prayer life. It starts with hope in the resurrected King–what He has already accomplished and what He can and will accomplish for those of us who believe. We can dare to ask boldly because of what God has promised. I outlined three steps to cultivate hope in our hearts. (If you missed that article, you can read it here.) Furthermore, bold prayer is accompanied by thanksgiving. . . for who God is, as well as what He has done and what He has promised to do.

But perhaps bold, audacious prayers still seem out of reach. Maybe you say, as I have done (and sometimes still do), “I don’t know if I have enough faith to pray boldly. I’m lucky if I just get around to praying.” If that’s you, thank you for your honesty. I get it; there are so many things that distract us, pulling us from prayer. Which brings me to my topic for this month, cultivating the habit of praying.

Paul told believers in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

Did you catch that? Pray without ceasing!

Without ceasing? Really? Neverending, unstoppable prayers. . . is that even possible? 

I believe it is, not the least because it is written as a command to us in God’s Word. (If God commands it, it is possible through the power of the Holy Spirit.) Granted, I don’t believe this is something that can be accomplished without faithful discipline and perseverance to overcome the flesh, the pull of this world, and our spiritual enemies–the devil and his demons. Hopefully, we’ll get to examine this kind of abiding prayer life in more detail in the future, but for now suffice it to say it begins with faithful prayers, consistent prayers, daily prayers. In other words, it requires cultivating the habit of prayer.

Brother Laurence, a godly layman who served in a French monastery in the 15th century and whose collected teachings were compiled in the Christian classic The Practice of the Presence of God, got to the place where he was continually walking with God, conversing with Him and serving Him in every little thing. Father Joseph de Beaufort, who collected Brother Laurence’s teachings recorded:

…at the beginning he had often passed his time appointed for prayer, in rejecting wandering thoughts, and falling back into them. That he could never regulate his devotion by certain methods as some do.

Sound familiar? But Brother Laurence discovered it was God’s love, and delighting in that (much as one would their sweetheart), which drew him into the presence of God; and it was surrender and God’s kind grace which kept him there. He taught:

That in order to form a habit of conversing with GOD continually, and referring all we do to Him; we at first must apply to Him with some diligence: but that after a little care we should find His love inwardly excite us to it without any difficulty. . . .

That when an occasion of practicing some virtue offered, he addressed himself to GOD, saying, LORD, I cannot do this unless Thou enablest me; and that then he received strength more than sufficient. . . .

That we ought to act with God in the greatest simplicity, speaking to Him frankly and plainly, and imploring His assistance in our affairs, just as they happen. That GOD never failed to grant it, as he had often experienced.

Prayer is a spiritual discipline–called such because it requires, well. . . discipline! It doesn’t come naturally. We have to press into the Holy Spirit who gives the fruit of self-control (or self-discipline). We have to, as Brother Laurence said, “apply [ourselves] to Him with some diligence,” while recognizing that in our own strength we will surely fail at this endeavor. We must simultaneously work at it with all our might and throw ourselves in all our weakness onto the mercy of Jesus and the aid He supplies us. As Paul said, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13, BSB).

You cannot make a habit of something you never do. Nor will it become a habit if its practice is sporadic. You have to pray in order to cultivate a life of prayer. But just as we don’t expect a five-year-old to clean the entire bathroom or a nine-year-old to cook the entire dinner on their own, so too we can’t expect ourselves to “pray without ceasing” until we learn how to pray and have practiced it. We train our children by first showing them how and starting them on little jobs (“wipe the counter” or “stir the sauce”) before increasing the tasks and independent responsibilities. Likewise, it behooves us to use prayer models and devotional or journaling tools to learn how to pray; (the Lord’s Prayer is a fabulous guide, and you can find a devotional tool that walks you through the Lord’s Prayer here). And it is helpful to schedule regular prayer time to grow our spiritual muscles (finding a prayer partner or two is a blessing, both in accountability and in powerful agreement in Christ).

On the other hand, don’t forget the importance of becoming like a little child in your prayer life (as we’ve talked about at great length in these articles). Ultimately, it boils down to cultivating a love relationship with the Trinity (your Father, your Lover, your Friend and Helper). As Brother Laurence practiced it:

That as he knew his obligation to love GOD in all things, and as he endeavored to do so, he had no need of a director to advise him [or, in our case, a prayer model]. He was very sensible of his faults, but not discouraged by them; that he confessed them to GOD. . .When he had done so, he peaceably resumed his practice of love and adoration.

. . .knowing only by the light of faith that GOD was present, he contented himself with directing all his actions to Him., i.e., doing them with a desire to please Him, let what would come of it.That as he knew his obligation to love GOD in all things, and as he endeavored to do so, he had no need of a director to advise him [or, in our case, a prayer model]. He was very sensible of his faults, but not discouraged by them; that he confessed them to GOD. . .When he had done so, he peaceably resumed his practice of love and adoration.

That useless thoughts spoil all: that the mischief began there; but that we ought to reject them, as soon as we perceived their impertinence to the matter at hand, or our salvation; and return to our communion with GOD. . . .

That all bodily mortifications and all other exercises are useless, but that they serve to arrive at the union with GOD by love; that he had well considered this, and found it the shortest way to go straight to Him by a continual exercise of love, and doing all things for His sake.

It is, after all, God’s love which ultimately and “inwardly excite[s] us to [prayer] without any difficulty.”

And so, dear brothers and sisters, yes, it is needful to discipline ourselves and make it a habit to pray. But to arrive at a lifestyle of prayer–one of praying without ceasing–our wisest course of action is to fall in love with Jesus. To be so captivated by who He is and what He’s done for us that we cannot help but want to love and serve Him. And out of the overflow of love and gratitude in our hearts, we begin a conversation with Him which never ends. 

Pray with me:

Lord, I don’t love you as I ought. I know my weaknesses, that I am prone, as the old hymn says, to wander and to leave the God I love. Help me to know more deeply the love You have for me, the sacrifice You made for me, the righteousness You bought for me. Help me to fall so deeply in love with You that it is the greatest desire of my heart to spend time with You, to be in continual fellowship and communion with You. For this is what I need; it is what I desire. Amen.

It’s been a full year of examining prayer, namely why we don’t pray and what hinders us. But the last couple of months we’ve turned a page, stepping into an increased life of prayer. We’ve looked at how we have to come to God just as we are–messy. We’ve looked at the Father-heart of God and talked about coming to Him like children. And last month we looked at how Jesus prayed: regularly, intentionally, and simply. This month I’d like to look at two qualities which need cultivating in our lives before prayer can spring forth naturally–hope and gratitude.

I’ve been taking a class this semester on understanding and walking in the gifts of the Holy Spirit (even the ones we’re often wary of). The semester is coming to an end, and last night during class time my small group leader asked us if there was anything we’d been asking God to develop in us that we wanted to be held accountable to. I told the group that for some time now I’ve felt God leading me toward more ministry in healing and deliverance. Though I’ve had some opportunities to pray for healing for people this semester, I haven’t always been bold in my asking. Having ongoing health issues for the past twenty-four years has eroded my faith a bit in God as our Healer.

Not that I don’t believe God heals. I absolutely believe He does! I just haven’t seen that healing in my own body–despite praying for it and having others pray for me. It’s been discouraging. And even as God calls me to do more praying for people for their healing, I hear a niggly voice in the back of my head saying, “What if it doesn’t happen?” It breeds a low-grade fear and doubt in my mind, hindering my prayers. So imagine the irony I felt today when I opened up A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller (the book on which I’ve been basing these letters) and read this: “Cynicism kills hope. . . .Prayer feels pointless. . . .Why set ourselves and God up for failure?”

There it was, staring me in the face–my greatest challenge to praying boldly. Maybe it’s your greatest challenge too.

But Miller goes on to say, “. . .Jesus brings hope before he heals. He is not a healing machine–he touches people’s hearts, healing their souls before he heals their bodies.”

What a kind and gentle Savior we have. He knows we can’t walk in the full and abundant life He’s purchased for us until we truly believe in who He is and what He’s done for us. He knows we’ll never ask for things we don’t believe we’ll get.

BUT HOPE. . .

When we know something is possible, and when we know God’s heart is good–that He desires to give us good things–hope springs up in our hearts; we dare to ask.

James 4:2 (ESV) says, “You do not have because you do not ask.” And Ephesians 3:11b-12 (ESV) tells us that God’s eternal purposes are “realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access [to God] with confidence through our faith in Him.” Brothers and sisters, we can ask boldly because we have hope!

“But what if I don’t have hope?” you might ask. “What then?”

Cultivate it! Much like cultivating the soil in a garden causes the seeds planted to grow in abundance, so too it is possible to cultivate hope in our hearts so that it grows and flourishes.

There are three ways I know to cultivate this kind of hope:

1. Read stories of God’s faithfulness and intervention. These could be from God’s Word, or they could be testimonies of people God has helped and rescued throughout history. Either way, reading about God’s goodness in the lives of others grows hope in our hearts that He will do the same for us.
2. Worship. It’s hard to not hope in God when your focus is on His greatness, His faithfulness, His lovingkindness, His mercy and grace, and His love. Put on some worship music and let your spirit go! It may take awhile, but I’ll venture to guess your mind will follow by and by.
3. Start small. Pray in measure with the faith you do have. And don’t forget to keep track of how God answers those prayers! There’s nothing like answered prayer to cultivate hope and faith. As your faith grows, so will your boldness and your confidence to ask greater things for the Kingdom and the glory of God.

Which brings me to my next quality–gratitude. Philippians 4:6 (NIV) says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Thankfulness changes our perception. It changes our posture. It changes how we ask and what we expect in return. It takes the focus off of the need and puts it onto the God who has been there all along, meeting us, comforting us, and providing for our needs, sometimes in ways we didn’t expect, but always in love and kindness.

Sisters and brothers, we serve a good God. He is worthy of our thanks and praise.

As you step into praying bold prayers, remember to cultivate a heart of gratitude–look up and be thankful for the God who sees and the Shepherd who leads even in the valley of the shadow of death.

Pray with me:
God, I haven’t always asked boldly. But I want to. Holy Spirit, heal my heart so that I hope again. Jesus, thank You for all You’ve done for me, all You purchased for me on the cross. Father, thank You for faithfully providing for me in ways I may not even be aware of. Help me to fix my eyes on You, not on my problems, bringing every concern before your throne. Teach me to pray with thankfulness and boldness as I hope in You.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Over the last several months we have looked at all the things which stymie our prayer life…  things like doubt, cynicism, insincerity, insecurity, and busyness. We’ve talked about our need to let go of our assumptions about prayer and to come messy, like children. And we’ve discussed how prayer is based on a relationship with our heavenly Father. (If you missed those past articles, you can find them on the prayer page of the Summitview website here.) This month we’re going to dive into how our relationship with the Father leads to honest and genuine prayer.

Now because you are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts to cry out, “Abba! Father!”

Galatians 4:6 (ISV)

In his book A Praying Life, Paul E. Miller points out how distinctive this idea of crying out to the Father is to Jesus, as seen in His prayers recorded for us in Scripture (Miller, Paul E. A Praying Life, p. 53.):

• Father is the first word of the Lord’s Prayer, though in English it reads,“Our Father in Heaven…” (Luke 11:2)
• “Abba” (the Hebrew word for Daddy) is the first word uttered by Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane: “Abba, Father, everything is possible for You.” (Mark 14:36)
• It is His first prayer on the cross: “Father, forgive them…” (Luke 23:34) 
• And His last: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” (Luke 23:46).
• It is even the first word from the mouth of the repentant son in the parable of the Prodigal Son–“Father, I have sinned against you…” (Luke 15:21)–Jesus’ model for us of the fatherly love God has for us, even when we have sinned. 

Until Jesus came on the scene, the idea of addressing God as Father (though the concept of God as Father does appear in the Old Testament; Deuteronomy 32:6; Psalms 68:5, 103:13; Proverbs 14:26; Isaiah 63:16, 64:8; Malachi 2:10) was unthinkable. God was holy and awesome, not someone to be approached in such an intimate and familiar way as “Abba.”  But Jesus did know God in this intimate fashion and had no inhibitions of addressing God in this way. Not without reverence–the first line of the Lord’s prayer still acknowledges God’s holiness–but without a barrier. He modeled this kind of intimate relationship with the Father, and then He removed every barrier that did exist between God and humanity on the cross. We now have free access to God… a loving Father who cares deeply about our needs and desires, who wants the very best for His children, and who has made a way–His very Spirit within our spirit interceding for us. The reality is we can cry out to God because the Spirit within us is crying out to God. Whenever we are in need, help is as close as a one breath prayer–Abba… Father… Daddy.

Prayer at its very essence is helpless dependence on our Father (Miller, Paul E. A Praying Life, p. 42.). We cannot do it… but He can. Jesus modeled this dependence too. Frequently He spoke of His reliance on His Father (p. 32.):

So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise.

John 5:19 (ESV)

I can do nothing by Myself; I judge only as I hear. And My judgment is just, because I do not seek My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.

John 5:30 (BSB)

…I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me.

John 8:28 (NIV)

I have not spoken on My own, but the Father who sent Me has commanded Me what to say and how to say it.

John 12:49 (BSB) 

Then he said, “Here I am, I have come to do your will.”

Hebrews 10:9b (NIV)

Neediness and dependence are part and parcel of being a child. And a loving father delights in helping his children.

Think of it this way: have you ever seen your child struggling to do something and wanted to help but they stubbornly refused your assistance? (Or, if you have no children of your own, remember a time you did this as a child yourself?) It pains you to see them failing and getting frustrated when, if they would just ask, you could come to their aid. Sometimes, eventually they get frustrated enough that you can ask, “Are you ready for my help now?” And if they’ve gotten to a humble place where they have to admit their need for help, you can finally step in and make it better. That’s what it’s like with God.

But conversation with a father is not limited to the times when we need help or instruction. A loving relationship between a father and his child is characterized by moments of sharing what’s on your mind, moments of quietness together, moments of expressing and receiving love. Jesus showed us how to do this by:

• carving time out of a busy schedule,

“Yet He frequently withdrew to the wilderness to pray.”

Luke 5:16 (BSB)

• being in His Father’s presence,

“And he said to them, ‘Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?’”

Luke 2:49 (ESV)

• and crying out in His moment of desperation.

“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me…. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly…”

Luke 22:42a, 44a (ESV)

Not only did Jesus model relational prayer, but He gave us examples of effective prayer methods throughout Scripture. We can learn from and follow His example by:

• Intentionally making time for prayer in our busy schedules.

Jesus chose the early morning (likely following an ancient established pattern–we see it in the Psalms, for example) (Miller, Paul E. A Praying Life, p. 35.). Choosing to spend time with God first thing in the morning elevates God to your highest priority, bringing Him glory; and it sets your heart’s and mind’s intentions for the busy day ahead. But if getting up early keeps you from praying, find another time of day that works for you. The fact that you are spending time with God is more important than when you do it.

• Praying aloud.

We know Jesus’ prayers because He prayed them aloud (Miller, Paul E. A Praying Life, p. 36). This modeled to His followers not only prayer, but also humility and surrender to His Father. And it allowed others to participate in His praying. When we pray aloud, we model it for our children and our sisters and brothers in Christ, and we make prayer a corporate experience, amplifying our faith and effectiveness. (See Matthew 18:19-20, 2 Corinthians 1:11, and James 5:16) And, as Miller points out, it becomes a declaration of faith in a God who is alive and working. I would also add that praying aloud keeps my mind from wandering; maybe it will do the same for you as well.

• Saying exactly what we mean and no more.

Jesus modeled simplicity in His prayers. Aside from His lengthy prayer in the Gospel of John (chapter 17), Jesus’ prayers are short and to the point. We don’t have to wax eloquent, pontificating with big theological words to communicate with our Father.

Praise God for our Savior! Rather than making prayer something outside of our grasp, Jesus’ modeling of both relational and effective prayer demonstrates that even as needy, dependent, and inexperienced children, we can turn to our loving heavenly Father. Boiled down to its essence, prayer is simply a conversation about whatever is on our hearts and minds.

Next month we’ll be talking about praying without ceasing, but no need to panic. You have to walk before you can run. Why don’t you pray this simple prayer with me today:

Father, I want to spend more time talking to you. Would you help me to establish that habit in my daily life?

You can be sure that is one prayer God will be pleased to answer!

If you’d like to engage with others in prayer, we have several opportunities here at Summitview to do so:

• Sunday mornings 8:30-9:15 a.m., room 204 – all church prayer
• Tuesdays during the lunch hour (12:00-12:15 p.m.) online – all church prayer, connect here (Meeting ID: 874 3467 1607; Passcode: 7ATxkb)
• 3rd Wednesday of every month 7:00-7:30 p.m., room 204 – parents of teens

Until next month, I’m praying for you.

Blessings,
Aimee Fuhrman

If I took a survey of the Body of Christ and asked, “Do you believe God is your heavenly Father?,” most if not all would respond, “Yes!” But more often than not–at least when it comes to praying–we treat God as if He’s a distant or even abusive father. Either we don’t talk to Him much, or, when we do come to Him, we pray safe prayers, hedging our requests with phrases like, “if it’s Your will.” As if He doesn’t always do His will … whether we like it or not! 

Last month we talked about how the answer is to come to God “messy” and pray like little children. But what if our relationship with our Father is dysfunctional? Paul E. Miller examines this in his book A Praying Life. Cognitively we know we have access to the Father through the Son. Our relationship with God is not based on how good we are, but on the goodness of Jesus. And because we are now adopted into the family–brothers and sisters with Jesus Himself–we are heirs of all the blessings and benefits of God’s kingdom. But too often that knowledge remains just that–head knowledge. We understand the “doctrine of Sonship;” and have a close relationship to God in theory, but practically our relationship is distant and dysfunctional (Miller, Paul E., A Praying Life, p. 5).

So how do we remedy that? What does it even mean to come like a child?

The first step is acting like God really is our Father. When a father is good, his children love to spend time with their Daddy! They want to play with their Daddy, help their Daddy, snuggle with their Daddy. They are excited to see him, and they want to spend time with him.

I remember as a young child sitting by the big picture window in our living room as the sky turned dark, watching for my own Daddy to come home. When he pulled up to the curb, I got excited. When he walked in the front door, I ran to him and threw myself at him yelling, “Daddy!” His love for me and my love for him meant I couldn’t wait to see him every night. Do you love your heavenly Father so much that you have an eager expectation and desire to spend time with Him? If you don’t, can you discern what keeps you from that place? (Is it fear? A broken relationship with your earthly father? The busyness and distractions of life? Things you crave more than God, such as entertainment?)

The next step to coming as a child is to acknowledge your helplessness and surrender to that place of neediness. Children know they can’t do it all; they are aware they don’t know it all. They need a Father who is bigger, stronger, wiser than they are to help them. So they come to their Daddy with their questions, their needs, their requests. They do so unashamedly. It’s only as we get older and “wiser” and think we ought to be able to do something on our own that we get embarrassed by or feel guilty for asking.

James 4:2c says, “You do not have, because you do not ask.” What do you need or desire but are hesitant to ask the Father for? Ask! Your heavenly Father desires to give you all good things. Does this mean you’ll never hear a “No” from God? Of course not–we all know we will–but even the “no’s” are born out of love. Even earthly fathers say no sometimes. That doesn’t stop their children from asking. Neither should a fear of hearing “No” stop us from pouring all our requests out to God. And even when we hear “No,” it might be God leading us to the place of surrender, where we finally acknowledge that neediness and give up trying to do it on our own. When we’re doing things in our own strength, relying on our own abilities, we have no reason to pray or seek God. Jesus is, in effect, an “add-on” to our lives, which is why “suffering is so important to the process of learning how to pray” (Miller, Paul E., A Praying Life, p. 48). Mature Christians pray more, not because they’re stronger, but because they recognize their weaknesses more clearly (Miller, p. 44).

The third component to becoming like a child is learning to dream again! To believe God can and will do the impossible! To believe that persistent praying will net results–like children who ask and ask and ask, knowing with enough persistence they can eventually wear down their parents’ resolve. (This is not unbiblical, by the way. Don’t believe me? Go read the parable Jesus taught his disciples regarding prayer and faith in Luke 18:1-8.) To learn how to babble again. Miller calls this “ADD praying,” and cites Paul’s prayers in Ephesians as an example: “He starts praying [in chapter one], interrupts himself, starts praying again [at the beginning of chapter three], gets distracted, and then finally finishes his prayer.” He goes on to say: “How do we structure our adult conversations? We don’t. Especially when talking with old friends, the conversation bounces from subject to subject. … Why would our prayer time be any different? After all, God is a person” (p. 28).

Prayer is just a conversation with a loving Father and friend. Think about the last conversation you had with your own father (or mother or spouse or dear friend). Your prayers should sound something like that. Really. Your Father God is waiting to hear from you. Why don’t you become like a child today and start a conversation?

Father, I admit I haven’t come to You as a child. I’ve let busyness, doubt, worry, and cynicism age my soul, but I want to become childlike again. I acknowledge my weakness and my helplessness. I need You, Father, for I cannot do it on my own. Holy Spirit, renew in me the joy and excitement of knowing You that I had when I first believed. And teach me to dream again–to believe and have persistent faith in who You are and what You can do. I let go of all ideas I may be harboring regarding what prayer should look like. I want to have conversations with You, God. After all You are my Father, my Brother, my Friend and Comforter. I love You.

This may be your question. Or maybe you’ve just given up on ever having a vibrant prayer life. Don’t lose hope! Today we’re moving beyond what stops us from praying into beginning the journey toward intimacy with our God. And, yes, it is possible!

Over the last few months we’ve discussed how prayer is daunting for many and a source of guilt. We’ve looked at hindrances to prayer including: unanswered prayers (which lead to doubt and cynicism), insincerity when praying (others’ or ours), not knowing how or what to pray (which leads to insecurity and inaction), and distractions (which pull us away from praying). It’s easy to either give up or to rely solely on prayer formulas and models. Too often, though, these models stifle our relationship with Jesus. Models are good and have a place sometimes. (In fact, we’ll examine some later on.) But because prayer is just a conversation with a person, models can feel stilted.

Think of it like this. Have you ever hit a rough spot with your spouse or another family member, or possibly in your work environment? Sometimes communication breaks down, and a pastor, counselor, or HR rep will recommend a model of communication to restore a functioning relationship. Such a model might include “active listening,” responding with phrases such as “so what I hear you saying is …,” and verbal reinforcement. Does this kind of communication feel natural? No! Because it’s not natural. However, it may be useful for a season to restore natural communication patterns. The same is true for prayer formulas and models. But if we rely solely on them, we never get to a place where genuine communication and relationship flow. As Paul E. Miller in his book A Praying Life says, “In prayer, focusing on the conversation is like trying to drive while looking at the windshield instead of through it. … Because prayer is all about relationship, we can’t work on prayer as an isolated part of life” (p. 8). 

The best place to start when you’re feeling frustrated in your prayer life is at the beginning. Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3).

Too often we understand grace when it comes to being saved. We know a person doesn’t have to have it all together when they come to Jesus for the first time. But somehow we forget that when it comes to prayer. But the fact is, Jesus still wants us to come as we are!

The difficulty of coming just as we are is that we are messy. And prayer makes it worse. When we slow down to pray, we are immediately confronted with how unspiritual we are, with how difficult it is to concentrate on God. We don’t know how bad we are until we try to be good. Nothing exposes our selfishness and spiritual powerlessness like prayer.

(Paul E. Miller, A Praying Life, p. 19)

The kind of childlike faith Jesus described is helpful when we pray. Children aren’t hindered by their selfishness or their lack of knowledge. They just come. Sometimes they ask boldly, because they know exactly what they want. Sometimes they tell you what they think, not questioning if it’s right or not; they simply want to share their thoughts with you. Sometimes they dream aloud, not hindered by what’s “possible.” And when their mind thinks of something else, they’re off on that tangent … or not. Maybe they’re just done, and they scamper off to do something else. They are genuine and in the moment. That is how we need to approach our Father.

Jesus [did] not say, “Come to me, all you who have learned how to concentrate in prayer, whose minds no longer wander, and I will give you rest.” No, Jesus opens his arms to his needy children and says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden ….” The criteria for coming to Jesus is weariness. Come overwhelmed with life. Come with your wandering mind. Come messy.

(Paul E. Miller, A Praying Life, p.19-20)

Miller goes on to say when we’re “weary,” we have trouble concentrating. When we’re “heavy-laden,” we don’t even know where to begin (p. 20). And that’s okay. Jesus is saying, “Just come and tell me where you’re at, what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking … or just sit and cry a little, and I’ll hold you.” Don’t try to get prayer “right;” just talk to God like a child would. To do otherwise is to be artificial with God and religious, which is what the Pharisees did. Jesus wants authenticity not religious formulas.

If you want a vibrant prayer life but doubt it’s possible, or if you have tried prayer models before and become frustrated, here are a few encouragements:

• A vibrant prayer life and a close relationship with God aren’t something you “accomplish” in a set time period. They are part of a lifelong journey.
• Our prayer life and our relationship with God will have ups and downs–seasons of vibrancy and excitement and seasons that feel dry and like a long hike up a 14er.
• Just as in any relationship, when things get tough, the answer is not to give up. It’s to keep hoping and keep working on it. Little steps eventually cover the distance.
• You don’t have to get it “right.” Any little prayer is a great place to start. Jesus really will take you just as you are.